Fighting so hard to stay here. Picking myself back up every time I fall, holding the broken pieces together best I can, pushing forward to a future that seems so dim, pulling out any little bit of hope that I can make it. I can break through. I can overcome. Life can get better. I […]

My mind really made a mess of my life. I’ve got a lot of cleaning up to do and some things are completely beyond me. It’s hard living with that and knowing some broken things can not be repaired. I mishandled the most precious in my life and they remain destroyed. I can’t take back […]

Now that I’ve lost everyone important to me and now that I am not important to anyone, I have to be stronger. I have to be stronger than I’ve ever been before and stronger than I am now. I have to face this life alone. There is no love. There is no support. There is […]

Realizing I am the product of my environment and my defensive behavior which leads me to lash out is causing trouble in my personal relationships. I don’t yet know how to resolve this but I want to and will work on it. If I’ve hurt you, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to hurt you because […]

This self-defense is over reactive. This fight or flight instinctive reaction. Surviving all this time just barely getting by. Am I self harming in another way? Am I creating problems that aren’t really there or just making them bigger than they really are? Is this instinct to protect myself just doing more harm? Have I allowed […]

Spending a fortune following a dream because it’s something to live for and I need a reason to keep going.

I broke down just a moment ago… so much pain. I feel it in my chest…. heaviness….shattering from the weight.