So much to say…. So little heard… You were my favorite part of this whole year… There were moments… you made me want to live forever…. You gave me smiles… connection… laughter…. Now where… Are you there… No where… Somewhere… I know you care… Somehow… Now feels like a forever that I don’t want to […]

Damn I’m sad bc I miss you. When I contemplated how I’d take my life, you left my side. Surely that was the end of our story my friend. I held on for dear life, shedding the tears left and right, took every bit of strength I own to pick myself up off the floor. […]

“The Show Must Go On” -Queen

“Be somebody who makes everybody feel like somebody” – unknown

At this point, my mental illness has driven all my friends away. There is no one to show me love. I’m feeling tremendous guilt. Like no one deserves a mess like me and maybe I am undeserving of the love I need to flourish. At this point, I am shutting down. This blog, my only […]

I’ve called out your name, grabbing my chest, and I’ve wept aloud “Jess, I’m so sorry.” I’ve shown you the worst and all I want to do is show you the best. Jess, I’m so sorry about the mess I made of things. Bet you don’t even think of me, yet I’ve fallen to my knees, listening […]

and it’s not really my choice. It’s just something I have to do and it hurts so much. It’s excruciating.